


Secret Lovers

by moricat



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Awkward Kissing, Boys Kissing, Eventual Smut, First Dates, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Friends to Lovers, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing, M/M, Romance, Secret Relationship, Smut, Teen Romance, make out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-30
Updated: 2017-01-17
Packaged: 2018-09-13 12:08:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9122941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moricat/pseuds/moricat
Summary: Some fluffy escapades based on the notion that Eren and Armin begin dating in secret after chapter 50~ :3Rated M for mature themes, sexual advances, and heavy make outs.





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> ATTENTION!!! THIS FIC IS ON A PERMANENT HIATUS... I'd like to update it in the future, but it currently looks like that isn't going to happen any time soon, so thank you all for reading but for now i have to shelf this. I appreciate all the love and feedback this story got, and hope it resonated with you in some way<33333

The new squad Levi was chosen and the 7 decidedly “elite” members of the 104th training unit were quickly moved into a new hideout. Busy with the hustle and bustle of moving the goods and supplies into the little house hidden in the woods, the teens chattered amongst themselves about anything but the terrifying battle they’d recently encountered.

  
Eren found himself speaking very little, focusing too heavily on his own thoughts and his own memories of that battle. So many countless tragedies... and the weight on his shoulders was becoming even more heavy than it had already been. And then there was Armin… Eren remembered that look in Armin’s teary eyes so vividly. How broken he seemed staring back into his own eyes when certain doom was about to befall them, and Eren couldn’t even be _near_ him… A lot of feelings boiled to the surface for him all at once in that single moment…

When they were kids, Armin used to put a smile on Eren's face like nobody else could. Armin was Eren's only friend, and honestly, Eren felt like he was the greatest thing in the world. No one was wiser than Armin. No one was braver than Armin. No one made Eren feel as happy, warm, and excited as Armin. He was so full of... _life!_ So full of _light!_ Who needs another friend when you have Armin Arlert by your side? He made everything sound interesting. He made Eren feel like his eyes were open to the world for the first time. Armin had so many thoughts, both pure and chilling, and he had so many big ideas, and so many interests. Eren began to question his own mind for being so _empty_ by comparison! He started looking at everything in the world thinking _'if Armin says it, then it must be true!'_   and held everything to the standards of Armin's thoughts. Every day was something to be excited for now because Armin Arlert was waiting to see him again...

Girls never really interested Eren. Granted, most people didn't interest him, but girls in particular didn't give him the feelings that grown ups always described about forming a "crush" on someone. "Butterflies, blushes, whispers, heartbeats, and smiles", all those things seemed like fantasy to him, no matter what girls came his way or what girls his family might've pushed him towards. Who needs a girlfriend? He can be way happier with his best buddy, Armin. Then of course when Eren got older, some perspective on those feelings began to change in a somewhat scary way...

Back in the battle of Trost, Eren made 2 grand discoveries that day: 1 was his Titan power and 2 was the power that existed in togetherness… Eren had convinced himself that relationships made for a gaping weakness. The loss of family was something he couldn’t recover from, and nothing made a person more stupid than romance. But then there was Armin… Eren was not one for exploring his own feelings. That was deemed dangerous territory long ago and so the less he allowed himself to feel, the better. But that light feeling he felt in his stomach whenever Armin was around, that warmth in his chest he’d find from feeling his touch, and that leap in his heart he’d get from hearing him talk, were all feelings he found hard to ignore, no matter how much he tried… for 6 long years. And they only seemed to be getting _stronger_... Denial would probably be the best descriptive of this issue, for lack of a better term. Denial, denial, denial that Armin is anything more than his good childhood friend. But even so, he cared about him so _deeply_ … So much so that it was a horribly awkward 3 years of training to have Armin be so depressed about his own strength and Eren feeling unable to help him. He refused to encourage Armin towards his certain death as a scout soldier, but he couldn’t stand to see him so in pain inside the walls, either. The best he could do, he thought, was to take care of him, but never lean on him for anything dangerous. Then came the second appearance of Titans breaking through the walls… Armin had made his own decision, and Eren could only vow in his own coded way that he would stay by his side. Armin’s blushing cheeks and brave smile in that moment seemed bound and determined to break the walls around Eren’s heart. Then came what he thought was their last moment together… Eren was devoured saving the person he loved most from certain death... A moment where something in his heart couldn't be _denied_ anymore... And he awoke to guns and canons pointed all around him, his sister, and the boy he loved. Right now, he felt no choice but to rely on Armin. Finally, there was a chance to let Armin know that he really does believe in him and that he always has. And Armin proved to himself what Eren already knew: That he was powerful. Then came another wonderful smile Eren wouldn’t soon forget.

  
Armin’s plan to fix the hole fell apart when Eren did, as he fell to the ground, trapped by his own Titan’s body. Apparently, he was mindless and broken, and nothing could wake him up except cadet Arlert’s coaxing, according to the reports. Eren couldn’t remember exactly what had happened then… But whatever it was, it must’ve been beautifully powerful… Armin has always known just what to say to him... And he was always right. And Eren definitely would indeed do anything he told him to. Did Armin really think Eren found him useless when he was nothing short of his partner in _everything?_

  
His mind went right back to that moment in their recent battle. To how flooded his brain felt with the realizations that they were going to die without ever seeing the outside world. Without ever making it home again. Without ever getting to tell him “I love you”… Without ever finding out how it feels to kiss him… Without ever knowing how he felt in return…

  
**“Oi, asshole!”** A voice shouted, followed by a hard pound against Eren's left ass cheek.

  
Eren returned to reality and annoyedly turned around to find Jean yelling, having thrown a potato at him.

  
“You gonna stare into space all day or are you gonna help us unload this shit?!”

  
Eren indignantly rubbed his rear as it briefly ached from the potato, and picked up another small box from the carriage to take into the house. He stared at the ground as he dragged himself to the stoop but paused at the sight of a forget-me-not growing by the concrete step. He thought for a moment... and pursed his lips as he fiercely picked the flower before carrying the package inside…


	2. Confession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren finds the courage to finally confess his feelings to Armin in a very emotional and passionate scene alone with him. 
> 
> Heavy make outs may or may not ensue 8)...
> 
> Enjoy if you can!!! And thanks for reading^^

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My wifi is out this week so I can only edit this on my phone at the moment, which as you can imagine is a big task since this chapter is long, so my apologies for any typos, I'll fix them later if I find some that I missed.

The Levi squad was finally settling down into the little cabin, all the boxes having been organized and dinner already being cooked by Jean and Sasha.

Armin had nearly finished peeling the potatoes when he felt Eren brush by his ear, sending a ticklish whisper through his head.

_"Come into the bedroom…”_

Armin turned around, finding Eren had already wandered off through the hall somewhere, and quickly finished peeling the last of the potato rations to follow the order. He washed his hands, and peeked around the corner, wondering where Eren had gone, or if he was meant to just meet him in the bedroom. Seeing no sign of his companion, Armin went ahead and made his way towards the chamber door, lighting the lantern beside it to find his way through the dark. He slipped into the room, and quietly whispered for his friend. “Eren?”…

The door suddenly shut behind him followed by the sound of a lock. A figure in the darkened atmosphere then quickly shuffled around him to left side of the room to shut the window, locking and latching it with care, and closed the curtains before scurrying to the other side of the room to repeat the steps.

Without even the moonlight shining on the floor anymore, Armin stood by the boudoir dresser holding the lantern in his trembling hand, and feeling quite confused and nervous… He placed the lantern on the dresser as the hidden figure’s shoe steps began approaching him, and braced himself for whatever was to come in the silence of that darkened room… Into the little orange sphere of light where Armin stood, came a sweet hand holding out a lovely blue flower to him. “Eh?” Armin was certainly puzzled, but in another second the figure finally joined him in the light and revealed himself plainly… “Eren?”

Eren only looked at him, still holding out the flower… Once Armin meekly accepted it, Eren pulled himself into a gentle embrace with him, quietly nuzzling his hair, just taking in his presence, and breathing him in…

Armin slipped his arms around Eren and returned the hug, wide eyed and more confused than before, and yet, somehow, he felt like he understood…

Eren pulled away, just enough to roll his gaze downward and meet Armin’s, his forehead still brushing against his, and his heart pounding in his chest to the sound of his uneasy breathing.

Heat flooded into Armin’s cheeks for the way Eren brought himself so close. He was at a loss for reaction and simply tried not to lose his own breath, as the warm air from each other’s bodies radiated between them. “Eren…”

“…I love you.” He finally hummed.

Armin’s eyes widened and blinked furiously for a moment, wondering if he’d heard that correctly. “Hnn?”

“I love you…” Eren repeated, holding his head up a little more to look directly into those big dazzling eyes he couldn’t get enough of…

Armin froze. Standing there in Eren’s arms, looking him straight in the eye, in clear language, he’d just heard the magical words _‘I love you.’_ from Eren Yeager… He struggled to find his voice, unsure if he even _could_ speak in such a dreamy moment. “Y-you… You mean--”

“I’m in love with you.” He affirmed, leaning in close again. His hands began running up Armin’s arms, to his neck, and up into his hair, as Eren was overwhelmed with the enchanting sensations he felt from his presence… His head hovered around Armin’s, his warm breath flowing over Armin’s skin and cheek while he inhaled the scent of that impossibly sweet sunny hair…

Eren’s own musk was pulling in Armin’s senses as he clutched Eren’s sleeves, trying to find some sense of rationality and sanity to respond with amidst the powerful feelings coming over him. He blinked slowly. “Eren…”

“It’s okay, you dont have to say it back.” He whispered, letting the strands of blond hair fall freely from between his fingers. He stood up straight to try and keep his mind in order for the important conversation, eyes meeting Armin’s and their gazes locked on one another’s. “...But I’ve had these feelings about you for a long time... I didn’t understand them, and whenever I came close to it, I couldn’t allow myself to feel them... Not during a war... Not when I couldn’t promise you anything…” His voice began to tremble. “But when I saw you… o-out there fighting in spite of certain doom approaching, I just--... All I could think about was that you were going to die... We both were, just like that, even after all we'd paid and lost, and I-- I never got to tell you I love you... I never got to tell you what you mean to me or how much you do for me... I never got to know how it feels to kiss you... And every second spent avoiding those feelings felt like a pointless, sinful, waste of time...”

Armin’s blush deepened, visible even in just the dim yellow light illuminating their melded personal space. His voice was breathy and his body weighed heavily as his brain tried to process everything. “Eren...”

“Armin... Life is short. And our dreams hold on by a thread... I don’t want it to all be meaningless if it comes to an end... I don’t want it all to amount to nothing..." he admitted, hands trembling as they held Armin close. “So I wanted to take this moment, in this safe, hidden, and protected space, to finally tell you how I feel. I love you..."

Armin’s lips had parted while his eyes fought tears. He felt so ready for this moment and yet so afraid, trying to find the strength to speak again while his rapidly beating heart desperately yearned for Eren. "H--… Have you thought this through? Are you really certain of this? You’re not just… overwhelmed and emotional because we survived that battle?"

 "I’m certain of this. Really, I think I’ve been certain of this since the beginning… I was just too stubborn to accept it… Right now, I wish I’d just admitted it when we were kids. When things were simple…"

Armin sighed and closed his eyes, letting his head tilt downward. "…"

Eren tightened his hug and sent a gentle hand to tilt Armin’s head back up, returning his gaze to his own. His face hovered closely by his, their magnetic attraction growing increasingly strong… "Armin Arlert. I love you. Truly and deeply. I thought love was a weakness… but you’ve only ever been my strength. You give me the power and the courage I need to keep going…" He continued, his nose grazing Armin’s and his hand now gently fondling his. "I’m sorry I took so long to say so. And I’m sorry I’m probably shit with my words. And I’m sorry for every moment I didn’t make you feel like the most valuable, useful, wonderful person in the world…" he lamented, eyes getting wet as the words he’d kept in his heart for so long we’re finally, _finally_ , coming out of his mouth. "But you are. You really are. You mean… _everything_ to me… I love you so much… Armin, I do. With all my heart… I love you… That… That’s how I feel…”

"..." Armin could only listen. Still frozen. Still at a loss for words. Eyes tearing up for the validation and affection he’d longed for for years.

"So, that’s… that’s all of me… laid out before you, here. Whatever your answer is, it’s okay. I just… wanted you to know." He concluded with a sniffle as his anxious silver eyes looked into Armin’s, waiting patiently for an answer, not unlike the way Armin’s eyes used to always look into his…

Armin finally got the momentum to flow in his brain, his voice fully catching up to his tongue at last. "… I… We c-can’t do this… Not during a war… I’m sorry." He reluctantly said at last, aching inside and out as he did so…

Eren’s heart sank and at last the tears poured from his eyelids, the taste and heat of crying welling up in his lumpy throat as he swallowed that response.

Armin clutched the sleeves over Eren’s arms, the fabric wrinkling between his desperate fingers, feeling so pained that he’d just hurt Eren. He always hurt when Eren was hurting but it had doubled knowing that he was the one to inflict this pain on him, and when he was so vulnerable… "Eren, are you okay?"

Eren wiped his eyes, trying to force back the sobs, still trying to stay quiet and keep his voice low so no one would hear them. "Sorry… That just… hurt even more than I imagined it would…" he admitted with a chuckle, sniffling and wiping his nose with his finger. He forced a smile for reassurance and tried to uphold a strong posture for Armin’s comfort. "It’s okay though, you can reject me."

"No, no, please understand me, I’m not rejecting you." Armin pleaded. "God knows how I feel about you, but I just-- It’s too risky. I don’t wanna be a liability to you, no more than I already am, and people already plan on using us against each other. If we were to become _lovers_ we’d be even more of a risk, and we--" his voice began to break as his heart did to say the facts of the matter, but bravely continued on. "This war is so much bigger than us… And we just--... We--"

"Armin, please listen…" Eren interrupted, bracing his own voice to the best of his ability. "I’ve thought this through. I know I’m not great at thinking, but believe me, I’ve thought about _this_... I’ve thought about it for years, if I’m being honest with myself, even when we were kids… I know it’s dangerous, and I know it’s terrifying, I know it's a risk no matter how you look at it... But what I’ve learned since entering this war is that I am only in more danger and more suffering if I don’t have you in my heart or your love waiting for me when the battle is over... I’ve considered this from every angle, over and over, and I come out to the same conclusion every time… And if I’ve done that, then I _know_ you have too… _much_ , much more than I have… and I believe you know the right answer… You’re the smartest guy I know; the smartest in the world… So whatever your answer is, I’ll agree to it… Because I trust you to honestly give me the right answer, in every situation… So just… without overthinking it anymore than I know you already have, recognizing all the pros and cons, dangers, and rewards, and recognizing the power that we have together… tell me…"

"..."

"...Do you love me too?”

"…Yes. Yes, of course I do… I love you _so much_ …" Armin cried, throwing his arms around Eren in a tight embrace, which he returned just as tightly.

Eren’s eyes closed, clenching to clear out the endless tears gushing over his cheeks and raining into Armin’s hair, as his brain tried to decipher whether this was a dream or reality.

The blond’s doe eyes dripped hot and heavy tears of their own all over Eren’s shoulder, and without another thought, he pulled away to bravely press his lips gently against Eren’s… Realizing he’d rushed into a moment he’d dared to build up in his head for ages, he pulled away again.

Eren’s eyes were wide open now, all aglow and sparkling, and his lips parted, longing for more of the taste of Armin’s he’d finally experienced… He lovingly tightened his arms around his companion and decided to take the lead, closing the gap between their lips, once again… After a short moment of shallow and mild kissing, he pulled away again to look at Armin, with flushed cheeks and an enamored gaze.

Armin’s face was drenched in tears, which poured relentlessly with every second of kissing Eren after years and years of wishing so badly that he could. His blushing definitely equaled Eren’s, forming a beautiful rosy crown over his beautiful smile, while his eyes shimmered endlessly…

Eren’s famous grin that Armin couldn’t get enough of had finally returned, framed by mirthy lips with wet corners from the happy tears washing away his previously sad ones. He pulled Armin in closer and spoke in a low tone. "…We’ll keep it a secret. We won’t tell anyone, not even Mikasa. It’ll be our exclusive little super power and we’ll protect it with all our wits."

Armin exhaled, trying to maintain his excitement, and bravely accepted the proposal. "Okay. Okay… Yes… I want this, _yes_." He huffed, affectionately gripping Eren's arms. "…I’ve _always_ wanted this…"

"Really?" Eren asked excitedly.

"Mmh…" Armin beamed, embracing Eren’s neck and pulling himself up for a deeper and passionate kiss, before falling away again.

Eren was dazed, so elated and dizzy, and finally feeling happy for one safe moment…

Armin blushed and glanced away briefly, embarrassed of himself and smiling shyly. "Sorry, I have no idea how to kiss…"

"Neither do I." Eren chuckled. He brought a kind hand under the beaming Armin’s jaw and drew his head towards his mouth. "But we’ve got all night to learn…"

Armin grinned and joyfully met Eren’s lips with his own…

That darkened bedroom was still and silent with nothing but the sounds of quiet kisses and gentle sighs from the new pair of lovers… Since neither had kissed anyone before and had very little to go by in terms of what to do, it was a long and awkward process to figure out _how_ to do it, but oh so rewarding and wonderful… Figuring out how to comfortably fit their mouths together took a few minutes of trial and error and some funny tooth knocking, but soon enough, as with everything they did together, they found the right way and only wanted to continue the journey…

It was warmer than Eren had expected. Wetter too. But mostly, Eren was surprised at how much the rest of his body reacted to it. His hands were definitely unable to stop running over Armin’s warm body and his arms kept trying to bring him closer, yet it still didn’t feel close enough…

As only Eren often managed to do to him, Armin was at a loss for thoughts at all when they started. It took a minute for his brain to catch up to his lips but once it did, he couldn’t stop musing on every aspect of it. The texture of Eren’s lips, the way they quivered ever so slightly against his, the way Eren would sigh when Armin pulled himself in closer, the way Eren’s hands were brushing over his back, waist, and through his hair… It all felt so wonderful. So real. Even better than anything he could’ve dreamed of. He ran his fingers through Eren’s hair, which Eren seemed to really like based on the way his embrace tightened, but even more amusing was the moan and slight tremble he’d let out when Armin’s hands touched or grasped his body, followed by Eren pressing his lips against Armin’s a little harder, like he wanted _more_... Armin wondered to himself what he could do to enhance this and excite his partner further. He tilted his head left and right, tried gently sucking at Eren’s lips, tried holding Eren’s face in his hands and pulling him in closer, enjoying every second of the experimentation, (as Eren likewise did), wondering what he could try next.

Though his eyes were still glossy, Eren’s tears had finally ceased within a couple of minutes, and he only concentrated on how amazing it felt to finally be like this with Armin. To finally be in his arms like this, to be able to feel the full power of his affections, to be able to hold him this close, to _kiss_ him… To feel free of the tiny, tiny "cage" he’d been keeping himself in all these years to _avoid_ this wonderful happiness… It was scary and overwhelming, and yet so _comfortable_ … Nothing had ever felt _better_ than this. **_"MMH--"_** Eren’s eyes flew open at the feeling of Armin’s warm wet tongue slipping inside his mouth and then back out just as quickly. Armin suddenly fell away away, blushing furiously, while Eren stood frozen like he’d just been hit by an electric current… Eyes gleaming full of wonder and heart bounding in his chest, a new smile of awe and amazement slowly appeared over his face…

Armin panicked and apologized profusely, hands covering his mouth and cheeks. "Sorry, sorry, sorry, I got carried away, I don’t know what came over me, I just--"

But before Armin could speak another word, Eren quickly brought his lips back to his and enthusiastically slipped his tongue into Armin’s mouth, excited to explore it.

"MMH--" Armin’s huge eyes nearly rolled into the back of his head before closing altogether with a happy sigh. Their embrace resumed, and the desire to bring themselves even closer increased...

The thrill of venturing tongues further inside each other's mouths inspired the thrill of their bodies, hands fluttering over each other and arms tightening their hugs. They only wished they could deepen the kiss even _more_ as the sound of each other’s moans and sighs began to feel like music to their ears.

After a few minutes, Eren sent his loving hand to gingerly slip under the fabric Armin’s shirt, indulgently feeling the warm bare skin of his back against his palm…

Armin shivered with excitement and clutched Eren’s shirt, trying to hold on tight as his new boyfriend’s hand continued to explore his back, sending his body into a new thrill for being physically appreciated.

Eren cried a little more from overwhelm again… _'This… All of this… could only be described as **“wonderful”** …’_ he thought.

The more comfortable they became with each other, the happier they seemed to be. There was quite a _comfort_ in intimacy for them, something they didn’t really expect from how the anxious adults around them described this taboo subject in classes or 'talks' about it for teens. Maybe it was just a matter of trust? Or a matter of one being with someone who honestly loved them? Maybe it was a soul mate thing… Or maybe adults underestimated the maturity of young adults as usual. Whatever it was, these two boys in particular were happy, and felt a comfort in being this close with each other that they’d never felt anywhere else, and they appreciated it more than anything after all the shit they’d been through, (knowing full well that only more was to come…) Their tongues tangled in every possible way as time ticked on, to the point they were starting to ache, and yet they were still thirsty for more. When one needed to breathe, the other proceeded to trail their wet lusty kisses somewhere along the other’s body, appreciating and worshipping it the way they each felt the other deserved…

When Armin had broken away to inhale and take a break, Eren’s eyes remained shut and he let his wet mouth lead him anywhere on Armin's body he wanted to kiss… His cheeks, forehead, jaw, neck… And as he became braver, his collar bone, shoulder, chest, and who knows where else with his eyes closed in the dark of that room. Armin’s shirt was becoming quite wrinkled for the way Eren kept pulling, tugging, grasping, and clutching the fabric of it as his hands continued trying to become better acquainted with the bare skinned body underneath. His soft moans increased in frequency, and seemed to harmonize with Armin’s at this point…

Armin’s whole body grew heated and excited and every surprise sent him higher than he already was. His hands couldn’t stop ruffling Eren’s hair when they weren’t desperately searching his back and waist, and anywhere else he felt comfortable accessing at the moment, (his stomach and shoulders being areas he favored in particular right now). Eren’s body had fascinated him for so long. The heat from his tight bare skin felt so incredible against his palms and fingers, feeling more and more _real_ with every touch. But Eren’s beautifully sculpted face was his favorite part, of course... The way his sharp jaw felt when he traced it with his finger tips, the way his soft and perky cheeks filled his palms, the way his plush lips smooshed and moved against his own lips when they weren’t curled up and pulled back into that smile Armin adored most of all… And then there were those _eyes_ , so ferocious looking, and fierce, and beautiful, like they could pierce into his soul. With shimmering grey irises that resembled the moon, with twinkling starlight all throughout it… _And they were currently crying **again** for this…_ If the eyes are the windows to the soul, then he knew for certain that Eren’s was the most beautiful there ever was. It had to be. When their lips broke apart, Armin immediately carried his to Eren’s eyes, drinking the tears as they poured over his cheeks. He pulled away now and again to smile for him and sweep them away with his gentle thumb, only to be met with more endlessly adoring kisses from Eren.

 They’d definitely gotten the hang of kissing now and the longer things went on, the more the pair began trying every which way they could think of to entangle their _bodies_ to become as close as possible. Arms moving around each others’ waists and shoulders, legs moving in between one another’s, stomachs and chests pressed against each other’s, hips becoming dangerously close… Awkward as it was, they never slowed down to let themselves feel embarrassed; only readjusted themselves as much as they could to be closer. The quiet moans grew more deperate and the mutual blushes grew more heated as Armin dared to slide his crotch over Eren’s thigh…. The flames of Eren’s desire were rapidly fanned and he trembled in fear but bravely accepted the scary journey. He slid his hand over Armin’s thigh and began cupping his ass, which felt as small and cute as it always looked to him. He pulled his waist up towards his, wondering what would happen next… The aches grew stronger and as Eren’s beckoning hand pulled his leg up, Armin courageously wrapped it around Eren’s waist, moaning passionately into his mouth. The feelings in their bodies were desperate to be realized, and their hearts throbbed wildly for each other, but their minds were terrified… They had no idea what they were doing and feared what might be to come after this, and yet at the same time, they honestly weren’t certain they even cared right now. Finally, after years of waiting, this moment was theirs. There was no telling how long it would last, or if they’d ever get another one, and so they wanted to enjoy it to their hearts’ content…

Crotches now pressed up against each other, the pair whimpered and meweled into each other’s mouths, wanting to be even closer yet. Their swelling dicks prodded and rubbed against each other under their clothes, yearning and begging for more, to touch, to be free, to cum for the power of Eren and Armin’s love for each other… Though nervous, Armin finally thrusted against Eren’s crotch. With that incentive, Eren began thrusting back which caused them to lose their balance and sent them crashing to the ground with Eren on top of Armin. The crash shook the pair back to reality, ending the session with heated blushes as their eyes met… They both suddenly began laughing.

Eren rolled over onto his back on the cold hard floor, chortling to himself while Armin sat up and covered his face as he giggled.

“What on earth got into us?” Armin sighed, running his hands through his bangs, trying to cool down.

“Lust?” Eren purred as he raised up to look at his partner, his toothy grin quickly giving away that he was joking.

Armin hummed another laugh as a rosy cheeked smile appeared on his face. He looked away shyly for a second while Eren studied his behavior with a smile of his own. Armin’s eyes quickly returned to Eren’s and their gazes locked, both knowing full well what had actually gotten into them a moment ago…

Eren glanced down at the floor, finding the flower he’d picked for Armin earlier and offered it back to him.

Armin gladly accepted the gift, happily placing it in his vest’s breast pocket as a symbol of their new relationship. At long last, _Eren Yeager was his boyfriend_. He, of all people, had the privilege of being Eren Yeager’s _lover_...

Eren finally stood up again, quickly followed by his mate before he even had a chance to offer his assistance.

Armin began readjusting his shirt, now wrinkled beyond repair, almost too shy to look at Eren again at the moment, but returned to his gaze quickly .

Eren smiled to himself thoughtfully as he looked at Armin, so glad that he finally confessed his feelings… This was one decision he definitely _did not regret_. He reached out and took Armin’s hand, slipping his fingers in between his and holding it tight…

Armin returned the gesture and looked deeply into Eren’s eyes with a mutual promise…

No words were necessary. They both _knew_ …

Suddenly a loud commotion sounded as the lock on the door was shimmied and pried open.

The couple held each other protectively and turned to face the intruder, before exchanging glances with one another and breaking apart again to avoid giving themselves away. Armin quickly stuffed the flower deep into his pocket to hide it.

The door finally swung open, bringing in a river of light across the floor and the shadowed figure of an unusually downbeat Connie.

The lovers behaved as genuinely casually as they could while Connie simply stared, empty eyed and barely reactive…

“Connie.” Eren finally managed. “We were just talking…”

“Hmm? About what?” He inquired, more out of habitual reflex than genuine interest at the moment.

Armin chimed in with his ever perfect talent of deception. “About Captain Hannes. He was a close friend of Eren’s family. It was a heavy loss for us…”

Connie fell silent, not believing their excuse, Armin was sure, but not really caring enough to bother the topic any further right now. “Ah. I’m sorry. Dinner’s ready. Better get it before Sasha does.”

The new couple solemnly exited the room, walking far apart, and harboring their feelings as they made their way towards the little dining room down the hall.

Once they were out of Connie’s sight, Armin brought himself up to walk next to Eren. A tiny blush crowned his cheeks as he worried Eren might hate him for that lie and so glanced up anxiously to find out for himself. To his pleasant surprise, however, Eren gave him a very warm and dear smile.

His lips parted and silently worded _“I love you…”_

Armin’s blush expanded over the whole of his cheeks, and across his nose, and his eyes began to sparkle before closing them bashfully. He was so beside himself in silent giddiness he’d almost forgotten to say it back, and quickly resumed his gaze at Eren to mouth _“I love you too”_ before they reached the rest of the hungry squad. Though they stood separately and minded their surroundings, as any imperfect humans might, their gazes locked on one another’s again, slipping into a slight trance as they entered the dining hall…

Suddenly Eren felt something plop onto the breast of his shirt, breaking the trance and filling him with annoyance as he stared down at the white mush making a warm wet spot on his chest.

“Thanks for all your help with dinner, flakes.” Jean called sarcastically, spoon still erect in his hand from flinging mashed potatoes at Eren.

Eren glared.

Though Armin was tempted to lick that spot of potato off of Eren himself, he resisted the urge, and merely smirked to himself at the cheeky thought before taking his seat at the table…

Eren sat by Mikasa in a conscious effort to ensure no one suspected his new secret relationship. He grinned to himself. Hannes would be so amused to know he was helping to cover up such a scandal. He glanced past Mikasa to look at Armin again, smiling as he watched him contentedly chew his food, _alive_ and _happy_. This love truly was Eren's dim light in the middle of despair…


	3. First Date

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren gives Armin a proper but very primitive first date upstairs.

Levi’s new squad had been thoroughly enjoying their much needed time of rest and recuperation. All cooperated in fixing dinner and cleaning the kitchen over and over again to meet the captain’s high standards, which were never really met in the end, even with Eren’s best efforts. Dinner time of course rolled in again and Jean was arguing with Sasha per usual by the stove over sneaking away food rations. Meanwhile Armin took to potato peeling duty once more. He found a certain comfort in doing so. It could occupy his mind and his hands and relax him for a moment amidst the chaos and other feelings roaring around like a typhoon inside him… Meanwhile, Eren was somewhere scolding Mikasa for attempting to do push ups right after the battle that left her injured.

With dinner complete, Armin took his time and set to putting together his tray of food with all the others, clattering and striving to make their evenings as reminiscent of their comfortable trainee days as possible. Eren however finally broke from the business of the group and wandered around behind Armin to announce himself. "Everyone, I’ve got a stomach ache so I’m gonna skip dinner and just rest.”

“You’re skipping dinner?!” Sasha shouted, hoping for a chance at his leftovers.

“Yes, but leave my rations alone!” He scolded playfully.

Mikasa was tempted to offer Eren her company when he wasn’t feeling well but somehow, the message that she needn’t baby him became loud and clear these past few days, and so she kept to gathering her tray...

“I’ll be upstairs, laying down.” Eren concluded before secretively tugging twice at the back of Armin’s shirt...

The already suspicious Armin’s eyes widened and he turned to watch Eren make his way to the stairs... He put together a second tray of food and water and began leaving to carry both trays upstairs, only to be sniped immediately by Sasha’s lust for extra rations.

“Eh?! What are YOU doing with extra food?!”

“I’m taking it upstairs to Eren in case he feels well enough to eat again soon.”

“Aww, I was hoping he’d forget about it…”

“So shameless, potato girl…” Jean teased to an annoyed Sasha.

Armin maintained a perfect composure with a sweet smile. “Sorry, Sasha, but the Titan savior’s rations can’t be spared.” He insisted, and carried the trays out, leaving the chatty group behind for the evening.

-

Armin moved down the hall and went up the staircase wondering what Eren was up to. “Eren? It’s me. You feeling alright?...”

Once he reached the top of the stairs, he found the sight of a makeshift table, made from two small barrels Eren had brought up from outside with a scrapped wooden board over top of them. Eren’s scouting cape was draped over it to mimic a table cloth and resting in the middle were two lit candles he’d borrowed from the supplies and a cup of forget-me-nots he’d picked from outside. Two empty chairs waited by the barrels and the curtains were drawn creating a darkened atmosphere, but romantically lit overall by a warm lantern on the dresser a few feet away.

Armin smiled to himself, impressed by the lovely sight. He glanced around the space for Eren and grinned upon finding him standing in the back of the room behind him.

Eren smiled back and approached his flattered lover to take the trays of food and place them on the makeshift table, completing the primitive image of a candle lit dinner.

“Oh, Eren, what is all this?” A happy Armin inquired.

Eren beamed from the table and approached his lover to explain the surprise. “Well, it may not be much, but I felt that I should give _my boyfriend_ a proper first date…” he grinned, taking his flattered Armin by the hand and kissing his cheek.

The warm and charmed blond blushed and wondered all over again how he ever got to be so lucky…

Eren led him by the hand to his chair at the barrels and once Armin took his honored seat, pushed the chair in closer to the table. He quickly took his own seat on the other side, unable to stop smiling at his gorgeous lover sitting right across from him…

“Eren, this is all so lovely and sweet of you…”

“All my best to you, Armin…” He beamed, holding up his bread loaf in a silly naive toast.

Armin chuckled as he mimicked the gesture and tapped his loaf against Eren’s before taking a bite of the still somewhat warm, flavorless bun.

The two couldn’t believe how wonderful this felt. Not a hint of nervousness was between them. It was perfectly comfortable and so rewarding to each of them to be in love with their best friend…

“You know, I was thinking about Trost yesterday.” Eren said after swallowing.

“Oh?”

“Mmhm. When Pixis took us up on the wall to talk, you had a lovely smile… I hadn’t seen you smile like that in ages. It was really nice.” He blushed, amused at himself that he was already talking like a lover the way he used to fear.

Armin blushed back. All those years he’d been insecure about his appearance seemed laughable now with the devastatingly handsome Eren Yeager being taken by him. “Th-thank you… It’s all because of you, you know.”

Eren blushed even more. Making Armin Arlert feel happy? That was always an honor to him… but even more so now.

Armin quickly sighed and happily inquired about Eren, whom he’d not had much chance to catch up with since Trost. “Tell me though, how did it feel to get that boulder in the breech! Do you remember?” He caught himself. “Ah- if you don’t mind talking about it…”

“Mm. I don’t mind.” Eren smiled. “Actually, I don’t really remember much at all about it other than… you.”

“M-me?”

“Yeah… I vaguely remember feeling exhausted and half dead, but I forced the body to get it there with your voice in my head… And then I remember hearing it calling to me as I finally blocked the hole. Were you calling?”

“I was…” he revealed shyly, wondering if his blush would ever go away. “I’d never been so amazed… it was like a dream and I couldn’t decide if it was reality or not… but I also didn’t stop to care because you crashed and I ran up to you as fast as I could to pull you out of the nape since you weren’t coming out.”

“… _You_ pulled me out?”

“Yeah…”

Eren was surprised to hear that. Not because he doubted Armin, but just because he assumed Mikasa would’ve gotten there first… He’d been dreaming Armin were the one doing that and talking about it brought a few memories back… “I remember… dreaming… that I’d finally taken you outside as kids… to all those places you wanted to go.”

Armin’s eyes lit up.

“I remember I woke up in your arms too… That was the day I realized that… I only ever wanna be in your arms. Inside the walls or not, alive or dead, I wanted to be with _you_ …”

Armin gazed at him… All that time he'd spent feeling like a bystander to his great best friends… all along, Eren wanted to be with him. “…I think I always knew you did somewhere deep down… It was my own stupid inferiority complex blocking that possibility out.”

Eren hurt when he heard that and reached out to take Armin’s hand in his. “Don’t ever think that way about yourself, please… I am… _so sorry_ that I wasn’t there for you the way I should’ve been during training... I didn’t want you to join the scouting legion but I should’ve-- I had no right-- I…”

Armin quickly covered Eren’s hand with his other hand to stop him from condemning himself. “Eren. You were trying to protect me. Don’t worry about that anymore…” he smiled.

“…Sorry.”

“I love you.”

Eren suddenly relaxed and felt a warmth in his heart again. All those years he’d spent condemning the very idea of romance, believing that it made one weak and useless, felt like years of complete idiocy now. Hearing Armin say ‘I love you’ felt like the best medicine he’d ever received. Nothing felt better than hearing that… He scrambled, realizing he almost forgot to say it back. “--I love you too!” Armin’s pretty eyes that Eren adored looked at him with so much affection, confirming, without a doubt, that he meant it with all of his heart…

“While you were away in jail, there was a play in town about you, you know?”

Eren’s eyes widened. “No way, really?”

“Mmhm. They invited everyone to see it and it was hilariously inaccurate, probably not even worth telling you, honestly.” He chuckled.

“Tell me what happened!” Eren smiled.

“Well, they didn’t consult any of us for the details of what happened because they rushed to write it quickly. But based on the story they’d heard, it was about an angry guy named Eren Yeager who yelled a lot and he finally got to use that anger on the battlefield. He slaughtered a bunch of titans with the help of his red scarfed girlfriend, Mikasa Ackerman, who insisted on protecting him no matter what. And his best friend, Armin Arlert, cowered in fear the whole time, and hid his face behind his hair whenever he was scared. But he managed to pull his own weight at the end by cheering the Rogue Eren on and proclaiming his power to the world before running off to work on himself as a soldier. That way, you could be happy with just Mikasa, happily ever after, protecting humanity. It was laughable at best... But the audience sure loved it.”

Eren growled. “Whoever wrote that play should be fired!”

Armin patted Eren’s hand. “Don’t worry about it, _we_ know what happened at least.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want it to go down in history that Eren Yeager was some jerk ass who married his clingy step sister and trapped himself inside the walls without his courageous soul mate Armin Arlert.”

“Courageous soul mate…”

Eren blushed and looked away for a second in shyness before looking at Armin again to affirm that he meant it. “Yeah.”

“Hmm.” Armin simpered. “Don’t worry then. Someday, everyone will know the truth. And you’ll be remembered as the _real_ hero you are. I'll make sure of it."

“…You’re amazing. Don’t leave that part out.”

Armin found it difficult to swallow. He had no idea being in a relationship with someone would feel this good… “--Okay.”

Eren simpered back and turned his gaze down to finish what was left of his potato soup. “…By the way… that little move you pulled on Bertholdt…? That was incredible. I hope I’m that strong when we have to face them again…”

Armin’s face turned red, but not in flattery…

“Thank you for saving me. You really are amazing.”

Armin relaxed again… He took a drink of water and set to finish the rest of his soup. “I hope we get to take our lives back pretty soon...”

Eren smiled to himself. Where would they go after that happened?… He had a few ideas. If he could just get the two of them to freedom…

“…Eren, I want you to know that even if you can’t form the Titan armor, it’s okay. I’m so sorry I keep selling you into these things… I was so worried you were starting to hate me…”

Eren’s lips parted as he finally looked back up into Armin’s eyes. “Don’t talk like that. We’re both on the same mission here. Whatever it takes to advance us to freedom, please do it. I know how things are. What choice do we have? Like you said, this war is bigger than us, so… Thank you for just letting me love you in the mean time.”

“…Thank you too. And- I’ll love you no matter what, okay? You’ll always be a hero to me, no matter what happens.”

Eren swallowed. What a comforting thought… “You finished?”

Armin took one last drink of water and glanced over his plate. “Mmhm.”

Eren happily got up to dig something out of the top drawer of the dresser. “Look what I found up here…” He pulled a mysterious dark stained wooden box from the drawer and sat it on top of the dresser, arousing the seated Armin’s curiosity. The clicking sound of Eren winding something behind the box filtered quietly through the air and he opened the box to reveal a wooden pair of lovers spinning around inside as the box began to play an old folk lullaby from inside...

Armin gave an emotional smile at the tune. “This is one of my favorite songs…”

Eren walked over to Armin’s side and held out a hand to ask him for a dance.

Honored, Armin gladly took the hand and stood up, letting Eren lead him away from the table and take him in his arms.

Eren wasn’t too sure how this worked since he’d never paid mind to couples dancing before, and so simply copied the pose the wooden lovers in the music box were doing. He interlaced the fingers of his left hand with Armin’s right, and held his waist tenderly in his right arm. It felt so awkward to him in his clumsiness and yet, like everything else they’d been doing, it also felt so right and so comfortable…

Armin found himself starting to feel shy but as always, Eren’s smile in the face of fear brought out the courage in himself. He gazed into those half lidded grey eyes with his shimmering ones and the two began stepping and circling to the gentle music…

Neither boy found themselves feeling nervous… This was _fate_ to them. And they only grew more comfortable the longer they spent like this, learning how to move as one to a song, and feeling so relaxed as they did so. Their bodies were so warm as they danced in tandem to the little tune while their hearts began to beat in synch with each other, all the while gazing into each other’s eyes… Neither said a word, and yet they felt like they were having a world of conversation with their eyes...

Armin’s arm rested over Eren’s, with his hand over his back. He fit so perfectly with him. Like they were built for each other… His affectionate hand clutched the fabric of Eren’s shirt.

Eren could hold Armin like this all day… His left thumb gently stroked the skin of Armin’s hand and his right lovingly stroked Armin’s warm little waist. He could stare into those big beautiful eyes of his all day too… He could swear the whole free world was actually right there in those eyes, which were going more and more half lidded with each passing second. Eren couldn’t stop smiling. He absolutely could not refrain himself from it…

Armin didn’t mind that one bit. Like his fascinated lover, he could gaze at that ever inspiring smile all day... That smile seemed like it had the power to carry them right to the ocean, no matter what was in their way… And it was so gentle right now because Armin was looking at him... All too beautiful and all too dear... “Eren, I really missed you…”

“…I missed you too. I’m glad we’re together again. Hope it stays that way from now on.”

Armin nodded and removed his hand from Eren’s to hug him tight as he buried his face in his shoulder...

Eren quickly brought the free hand around Armin’s shoulders and nuzzled his face into his wonderfully soft blond hair, praying that he'd never leave his arms...

The two continued their dance, which slowed to mere swaying the longer they were together like this, with their emotions feeding into one another in an endless cycle of silent love...

The music box began to slow its melodious plinking and Armin pulled away to look at Eren again.

Eren held Armin’s beautiful face in his hand and brought his lips to his for a tender kiss while the music finally slowed to a gentle stop…

* * *

 

A few minutes passed and the makeshift table was now pulled apart back into two barrels which Eren had carried over to the corner along with their empty dishes and trays. The candles were blown out and, along with the flowers, were placed on the dresser by the closed music box. The lantern light had been turned down to a low glow while the lovers sat up against the dresser. With their backs pressed against their pillows over Eren’s sleeping space, the couple sat cuddling in each other’s arms with Eren’s cape blanketed over their laps... Armin’s head rested comfortably on Eren’s shoulder while Eren’s rested against Armin’s head in the quiet of the room. Armin's arm draped over the front of Eren's waist while Eren's arm wrapped around Armin's waist from behind. They were content to remain just like this... warm, safe, and snuggled, until the rest of the squad would eventually finish dinner and come upstairs to interrupt them like a curse... Their quiet, happy, gentle breathing was all that could be heard throughout the room.

“…Eren?”

“Hmm?”

“Have you ever lost hope?”

“Twice.”

“When was that?”

“When I heard you scream before I came to save you in Trost. And when you looked at me in tears at our last battle... I don’t lose hope until you do…”

“…”

“Please stay alive…”

“…” Armin cuddled him closer. “You’re my hope too… So you stay alive too. Please.”

“…” Eren kissed Armin’s head, and decided to pull him up for another sweet kiss from those soft lips, endlessly appreciating the man who made Eren _want_ to live...

After a short moment of quiet kissing, Armin pulled away, looking a little sad for the negative thoughts...

This immediately prompted Eren to form a confident smile to cheer him up again.

Armin smiled back and kissed Eren’s cheek before pulling him into a warm hug. Eren's contagious optimism filled his heart to the brim. What could be better than having Eren Yeager for a boyfriend?...

Eren held him tight and played with his hair for a moment. He soon pulled away to smile at him once more, just to ensure he was happy again.

Armin traced Eren's lips, mimicking the smile on his own... Suddenly, he got that look in his eye he always had when his curiosity was aroused, and he grinned brightly, arousing Eren’s amused suspicion in return... Within a few quiet seconds, he swiftly slipped his hands under Eren’s shirt and began rubbing his bare stomach and tickling it all over, which sent Eren into a fit of blushing shy laughter.

_“What are you doing?!”_

“Haha, I’ve always liked this stomach of yours.”

“What the he-- _Hahaha!_ ” Armin continued his playful exploration until Eren had laughed himself to the floor, lying on his back with a mirthy Armin smiling down overhead...

"Hmm. I haven't heard you laugh like that in so long... I really needed that..."

Eren looked up at him, admiring the beauty of that sweet sunshine-y face, with a dream in his heart he just couldn’t wait to talk about with him some day… Just as soon as they were free... He rose up again and smashed his plush lips against Armin’s for another long, wonderful moment... Suddenly, the sound of foot steps forced him to stop. He hastily broke away, slipped under the blanket in his sleeping space, replaced the pillow, dropped his head onto it, and pretended to be resting from a stomach ache...

Armin simply reset his composure and stroked Eren’s hair for a moment before removing his hand when the figure finally appeared from the staircase...

It was Captain Levi. He looked blankly at the teens, unamused. “They say Eren’s got a stomach ache. Did he manage to down his food?”

“Yes. He was feeling fine afterwards but decided to get some extra rest just in case.” Armin whispered in a flawless lie.

“Hmm. Good to know. If he spews, you’re in charge of cleaning it up.” He ordered with a sharp turn.

“Got it.” 

Levi took himself back downstairs, leaving just as quickly as he'd come.

Armin resumed lovingly stroking the gracious Eren’s hair in the dimness of the room until the momentarily blissful Eren finally did indeed fall asleep, with thoughts of Armin dancing in his head...

Really and truly, _nothing_ had ever felt better than this...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song in the music box was "Moshi Kono Kabe", which I headcanon as a varied folk song in the walled world with ever evolving less rebellious lyrics over the years since the Eldian memories were wiped.  
> \--  
> ATTENTION!!! THIS FIC IS ON A PERMANENT HIATUS... I'd like to update it in the future, but it currently looks like that isn't going to happen any time soon, so thank you all for reading but for now i have to shelf this. I appreciate all the love and feedback this story got, and hope it resonated with you in some way<33333


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